Complete crap.
Prongs walked through the forest and stumbled about something and this was something that turned out to be the corpse of a young beautiful woman with three holes from missiles “Earth Earth”.Well, as you already guessed from the woman, only the head remained (the arms and legs are not considered twenty meters from the head) and the passport on her nose you want to ask where I know how many times I got into her missiles, well, there was just a plate that read: “We got into this crap three times the rest of the twenty-seven flew somewhere south (Duck, where was the dacha of my neighbor).I, as a righteous, took the head and went to bury it. In the cemetery, the head woke up her legs grew up and he began to bite my ass. I quickly ran to my home and ran with a pompom as I pressed the trigger and I realized that I don’t have cartridges, I ran to my home a second time and charged my gun and started to run a flash of blood and my brains flying in all directions, I think I got it, and it turned out to be my mother -in -law (as if I were glad) I looked like it.pulled two three and shit of blood from it like from the Angel of Water.
Complete crap 2:.
Well, I somehow moved away from the overflow, pumped out. But here I found out that many people were drunk with the bloods of my evil mother-in-law and became nonsense, well, they do not care about them, but I think they somehow soaked the heat-resistant ones and so they soak them. Well, I ran home, I’m running around, and there I don’t care about his nose, and he doesn’t care, well, I’ll grab a shovel and on the tower, the floor of the head did not happen, and he doesn’t care, well, I woke up in the eggs of the eggs, I look at the eggs, and the fan was dead. I neatly took the eggs in the house and began to fry (the cool omelet came out I tell you) then quickly ate and ran the basement, took out the minigan and rushed off the entire male population to collect. We went with men for the arrow -assignment. I got up to get the field and began to discharge the clip. Only after the dust divorced, I realized that I was discharged the clip in the wrong direction. I turned around and began to bullet in the other direction. I soaked all the painter. It all ended well (not counting the fact that half of the male population died, and the rest of it became castrates).
Full crap 3: Escape.
Well, let’s say I got out of the castrates (and then for the legless they quickly ran and I barely left them on Harley (very barely, they moved so quickly in their arms, and intestines, stomach, liver and kidneys dragged from behind.)).But there was still a bunch of wives. They grabbed shovels, brass knives, knives, kalashi, pasta, TT, anti -aircraft guns, bazuki, minigans, rocket installations “Grad” and let’s heerate everything that moves into everything (well, at least half of them, the guts were lying around everywhere, and everything else, the crows were baked and began to walk on foot.) but then they still guessed that we had to cheat on me. Then I had a bad thing, the grenades of the bullets of the rocket fraction flew into me, but almost everything flew away somewhere to the north, including Grad (maybe the Chukchi at least warm up). I dumped into the city there I found a armored bar. I entered, and there is a rock concert, well, I think, lucky. But the doors of the bam and slammed, the musicians grab the guitar and let’s wash off everyone in a row, shit with a guitar on the head of the viewer and eyes on the floor, boasting the other on the leg, he has an open fracture, and he laughs, and the musicians soaked him together. Suddenly, the ladies burst from my village, saw the guitarists and let’s heerate them, I bent down, I hear the meat went. After everything ended, I got up and looked around, everyone died. I look at me, runs, that is, it goes, that is, it crawls, that is, it crawls pulling up with his tongue and remaining teeth (I am very interested in what he wanted to make me lick to death or, because he had no arms and legs). Well, I fired it a couple of thousand times from TT. I went outside and there are no cities, well, in general, everything is good as always.
Complete crap 4: Outheated train.
I went outside, and there is nothing there except KAMAZ. He was all in blood, brains and in all that, therefore I really liked him. I got into a truck and drove towards the north. I suddenly go for the sound from under the wheels, well, I went to the brakes and went out to see what is there, I look at ten meters around the corpse is lying around, I come up (well, to go away and bury it as usual).And the corpse is very alive and laughs like a cow. I, out of fear, shit with a brand in a hare, then a knife along the neck, then with a stroke on the body, then with a flame of the ass, then Grenes in his mouth, and to tick himself. He climbed into the truck and shmyak now he is definitely a corpse. I’m going on. I look, the adhesive chuvikha on the side of the road I drove closer, took out Kalash and let’s fade around the face (blood and brains were dumbfounded). I’m going on. I see Freddie and Jason Figar. I drove closer (well, to look) a little did not calculate, crushed both, then still a film crew, then spectators, and last a couple of thousand innocent passers -by. Well, finally, I got to the north and found out that all the Chukchi died out for an unknown reason, only everywhere there were craters from explosions, and of course pieces from the Chukch. Well, I went through pieces of meat suddenly ice cracked and I fell into the water, which had -300 Celsius. The tank of alcohol, which was behind Kamaz, helped me to swim.
Complete crap 5: Hell https://royallamacasino.uk/ Chukchi.
I got out of ice water completely sober (well, that the Russian person is a tank of alcohol). I looked around, a complete crap was going on around: burning Chukchi ran everywhere (you know how their clothes were on the Chukchi), at home, hares swam, elephants flew, seagulls ate snow. I went away I look at two ways about one sign “Syuda you will go to heaven” you will get around the other “you will go without a head, without arms without legs with torn intestines and you will be smeared with your own blood.“Well, I went along the second path because there is even without a head but at least alive, and if in paradise then then they would soak around a turning point. I suddenly look for myself, the head of the elephant later comes out, the body of the giraffe with the hands of the crocodile, then the legs of the hare. I was frightened, and the states were picked up from the bazuka, and he opened his mouth and gobbled up a rocket. I asked him: “You are a devil?", And he:" No, I am the Lord!". And then a detonator worked at my rocket and a stranger smashed a pile of shit like shit. Then the bald crayon got out with a naked ass. I started in surprise, broke my leg, turned his neck, bit his tongue, banged his eyes, tore his ear, cut his stomach on a twig (through). Then he shouted: “The shit of the Lord”, and he: “No, I am the devil”. It seemed to me that he was like someone, and he definitely looks like Putin only with a naked ass. Well, I’m from innate hatred of the presidents
He took out his two -meter sword from his pocket and let’s chop the president. When Putin died with a teleport to the white room. There was a person who called himself God, he offered to cure me, I agreed he cured. But imagine there is not a single shryak left that all sorts of sophisticated Chuvikhas so much, therefore I cut off both God and in the world that I returned, there was no more than God or the Devil.
Complete crap 6: now I am in the arm on ..!
Here I am in my native world. Everywhere the remains of the Chukchi blood from flying elephants, floating hares, well, and the like. And of course, ten meters of the railway station. I sat on the first train that came. I’ve been going for a long time, about five seconds. Suddenly, a maniac murderer in the form of an officer (you think where I found out that he was a maniac, but just behind him there was a photo under which it was written “who doesn’t go into the army, which is dull from me, which means all the teenagers are in their right mind”). “Well,” says: “Who will go to the army."I answer:" I am 30 years old, my mother!", And he:" It doesn’t care that you go and you will go. The whole car made a positive time, only I sent him to hell.
-You wanted to throw me at 20 thousand
-No, I wanted to throw you 20 meters
I shit on my neighbor’s neck (I heard only "for which?!") Then, in one jump, he flew to the maniac and a smelly heel (on which the stinking sock was not worn, not washed for 20 years) in his snout, but he suffocated a couple of seconds before the blow. Also, almost everyone in the carriage was fuel, but some remained and it turned out that they also stink their socks and we organized a fingerty – the brotherhood of smelly socks. And then I found out that after the death of Golozadov, you pah of Putin, the President was taken by the homeless of the homeless Sidorov. Sidorov is Men cool but because of hostility to all the presidents, I will have to soak him. Brotherhood and I quickly (very fast (super fast (super-duper quickly (super-duper nitro quickly)))) ourselves sorted out security. Well, I go in, and there is Sidorov with an automatic machine, a gun, a machine gun, a grenade launcher, a mortar, a sword, a knife and a cabin, and yells: “Do not soak me”. Well, I went and shit on his fingers with a sledgehammer (50 kg).Well, he screamed and shouted for about 2 months, then the leg healed and he shut up. I ask: "Where are the grandmothers?!", And he:" I will not say. ". Well, I started mocking the homeless. He tore all of his 986432718 hairs, one eyebrow tweezers (this took about 20 years). But he did not answer where the grandmas. Well then I just started to wash it and he confessed, they were in his ass. For this I killed him like this
Full crap 7: Return.
So I returned. You need to soak the brow, knead bones, well, you understand. I get out of the bus, and on the street there is not a soul only living people. Well, I like I put it to the chuvikha and that means I say with my hoarse, after a booze (which, by the way, lasted all the holidays and probably has not yet passed, I have not yet understood) in a voice: “There is no cigarette,” but she likes to shit from a bag Bazouka, I: “What for the stick?”, And she:“ Yes, this is a new lighter you are not afraid ”. Well, in general, I cooked then I remembered that I did not smoke and threw a cigarette in a canister with gas near the gas station (well, for the salute, because the new year is already on the nose, and soon it will be on the back of the head, and then in the ass, since everyone will be drunk in the ass.) Well, I’m moving on, suddenly some kind of niger appeared and from my foot to my snout, and I stand (well, like a side side by me), he shit me with a brick, and I don’t care, he shit with a bat, and I don’t care. He yells: "When you cut off at all!”, Well, I say:“ Well, you are in the way and said that you need to chop off."Well, according to all the laws of nature, after so many blows on the head, and even from the body, I fainted.
I wake up, and in front of me, you won’t call it differently (growth under the ceiling is all over -over -the -over -up), suddenly this Niger again and says, pointing to the Zhobyar: “This is a rat“ I am awesome, what a rat is a rat, but this gleel of earth can play in football. The all -stylish chuvikha comes in (by the way, they are all in pink, but pink goes here only a chuvikha), and it seems: “Featwyrinity at your service” ”. Here again this Niger. Well, I could not stand it, I say: “You are Niger, Morpheus nicknamed Chocolate Hare!?", And he:" No, I am a bustle nicknamed Hare Chocolate! And you oon so after all?". I say: “What the fuck I am Lenin, Ugh I am Stalin, ugh you, I pride the prings, exactly this is me!". Well, the suoofer, then turned green, then turned black then it became normal and said: “Well, in principle, do not care, what difference does it make with whom to drink, let’s drink. Well, as a Russian person, I certainly agreed to get a freebie in the ass. Well, we are going along the corridor, suddenly another niger and on his chest a sign “Self -Sight your mother!“Well, this dump truck says:“ You, as always, need vodka, and you also need what you need?". “Glasses, four glasses!”-Sed the sueffer. Well, we began to thump and they had a lot of vodka even for a Russian person, but not for me. When everyone was already lying (by the way, it’s interesting for me who will save the matrix, that is, the Ucittes, that is, you understood everything), I was still on my feet (well, I actually crawled, but these are formalities) I really wanted to fall asleep but I didn’t want to sleep well, I got into the first-aid kit to the four-in-law there wasn’t there and this is a secret, but I found something that I was looking for super sleeping. Well, I poured into a glass and drank one tenth, fell asleep more. After 3 months, I woke up and saw a glass in front of me, we’ll dug now, I thought, and drunk one tenth fell asleep, it lasted for quite some time, and what was better not to tell after, but I will tell you later.
Complete crap 8
Prongov chronicles.
Here I will write smart and cognitive phrases. So what we learned in the past parts of the crap – correctly the daily routine of the Russian person (in particular me).So here he is:
1) Born
2) got drunk
3) married
4) Overwear
5) I realized that he got married again, he divorced.
6) Oil
7) I realized that the old one got drunk, died
So the Russian man lives cheerfully.
Complete crap 8: Death (but not mine)
I walked along the street with a box of bucks and with a machine gun on my shoulder (well, in a magazine) and suddenly a watermelon crust, I ran and how I jumped on it. Further everything according to plan, fell, lost consciousness, woke up (and now not according to plan) a coffin, and I would get inside this coffin.Well, I got out of the coffin here is my dad: “But where are you, we understand you bury you, and you are neither a rumor or a hand or a leg or a head or a X … I am not.”Well, like I am lingered a little, well, I’ll go/” ”Yes, go and we will bury you without you.“Well, I trudge, I suddenly look at the small niger, says:“ Yo, fuck you man, you many my man, you car my car. You Dead Fuck Dead, Die Die Fuck Die Bastard, Fucking I was hesitated not to speak.“Well, I hit him with my hand, a naked, a bat, from a puff, from a cut, from a kalash, from a bazuka, crushed him on a motor, on a wheelbarrow, on a bulldozer then threw a brick on him, removed everything that remained in a bag of 2 kg, spent a bag of gasoline, and he dumped it in another city.
Complete crap 9
Prongov chronicles.
From the past crap, we learned that killing people is bad, but cool, fun, bumpy, cool, in general good!
Complete crap 9: what the hell is your mother!
So I came to another city (I escaped from the explosion of 2kg who was not in the know) and I look everywhere narrow -eyed, mustachioed, hairy, bearded, and smelly hachi. But he looked closely and saw that there was a gang of nigers and washing hachi to the right, left, up, down, in general everywhere, well, I run up to them and say: “I am dude with you!"They gave me a bullet and we began to shoot in all smelly, narrow -eyed, bearded, unshaven, mustachioed, which is moving. Then I went to another city. Then I just said: “What the hell?"And he went further and suddenly a robot appeared in front of me like a homeless person (maybe he is actually a bum) and pokes a puff in me, but I feel smart and shit on his neck, he will turn off and leave, so I was right away and went to the bar. In the bar, everyone kalbas with steep Chuvikhs, but somehow I did not glue, but I did not lose heart because I was well glued with alcohol. I drank all the alcohol that was in the bar, and did not pay. As always, due to some $ 10,000 I had to mark the entire bar, but it was not difficult, because I did not feel a single blow (after 100,000 liters of alcohol!(all)).
Full crap 10: The Final
Z ghjuekbdfkcz oh well, that is, I walked around the park, when suddenly, from nowhere, the SSSOVites, and let’s kick with their hands and beat their feet two months later, it dawned on them that they did not ask a question and say: “Where is Lenin?", And again kick with your hands and beat with your feet, a month later it dawned on them that I did not answer. They stopped kicking me, well, I got up, shook off, and we went to the tavern “White fever with an admixture of nausea and death”. Well, there we spoke sincerely (though I constantly called them with dull Fritz, but they did not understand a damn thing). They cut down at Wolftestein 3D K1, they were offended, that they need to wet the fascists, but passed. Then I said that Lenin in the Mausoleum, satisfied.
I’m walking in Moscow oh to hell with Peter. Suddenly Stalin in the hands of the PPS aiming at my boots and says: “Where are the SSSOVSTS?”, I answer, squinting at the PPSh:“ in the Mausoleum, ”Stalin thought pulled me into my shoes and went towards the mausoleum (probably I don’t know where this shut -off mausoleum is in Moscow), how good I am at the age of 60 I buy more boots for size, suddenly my leg will grow up.
Complete crap 11 (mine so) Winter your mother!
I’m walking on the street, I look at the rink, all in the blood, in the brains so beautiful everywhere in it the spikes stick out, the sandpaper is glued
Below the corpses are lying (to soften the landing probably), well, I think right now I’ll swing, then I look at the broken bottle lying around all
5 meters from the kotka, you can prick.Well, I went the bottle threw out, leaving the fragments, and went to the rink and went and went,
The first 10 centimeters I drove normally, but after the 2 -meter spike pierced my leg through my foot, I fell
I drove around the muzzle on the sandpaper, I was perforated with 246 rpzlic length spikes, and finally I arrived.I got up shook off
their torn limbs and crawled to the hospital there, but did not say where, well, I crawled into the sewing hotel there for me
All my limbs sewed a woolen thread.I jump: “And not what I have a hand where the leg is and where is the hand”, and to me
answer: "And duck is your hand and I thought it was a head".They crossed everything and I went to the cinema, I looked there "Full crap"
At the end of the Mfilm understood that the life of a Russian person was a hundred cooler once and went to the Magaz, there was a robbery in full
in full swing, well, I went to see (maybe it will fall to me something) robbed me as they saw me so immediately
They shot and fell into fence, they gave me a prize for the capture of the most dangerous robbers in the world of a robel -bonnasylnicubic (about pronounced).I
I added 99 rubles to this prize and bought myself beer for Chirik, then went home happy, drunk and without a bonus.
By the way, my anniversary I will drink. I go to the Bar “Three Hachi and Prostitute” and sit down at the rack. I say to one of the three bartenders part -time hachi: “You are moose”, he: “Well, what I am leading from that, I am not misunderstood that I am a stupid moose, tie up to order?"I:" No, I just wanted to stoke ". I got up and left, and the bartender drove and fell with a bullet in the head, with my bullet. I sit in a taxi with a pistol and say: “You will carry me to these addresses (I give a piece of paper with some numbers), I’ll soak all the people there, and then you are straight to the head?“The taxi driver turns with the torn and says:“ I don’t drive the arrogant ”I quickly got out and got into the trolleybus the controller and asks the travel. I go through a gun, and the controller says: “You can give a lighter to drive for free”. Well, I gave a bullet, then the controller hit his forehead when he tried to light a light, that he thought it was a lighter?). Well, I drove to the Lane Ultrishchinsk and went to my home got drunk, but in general, I went as usual as usual only as always I forgot to buy milk.
Complete crap 12: a detective-lobed.
I’m walking on the street, well, as usual with an automaton, caste, etc.D. and t.p., For milk, and
A pretty girl (with a huge hut on the nose) tells me: “You are a private detective,
Although what the difference is the difference, here you find 100 bucks to find this person and soak, you understand?",
Well, I nodded.Take it back, it so shook the Adris and finally got into Rome, I ask there:
“Where is this street, where is this house?", They answer me:" This is in England ".Well, I was driving in England.
I came, it means that a look, but this address leads straight to the "Big Ben".Well, I went to
inside.I went to see the inscription to rise without an elevator, you need to rise by 90,000 steps
And at the same time beat the world record in 999999 steps (in the last record, a person just died of
hunger, so by the way).I look at the person stands and says; "Livte will arrive in 5 seconds wait
A little".I thought that I would wait for the elevator for so long, I will climb the Lesnetz.And then beaten everything
World records I reached the top, and of course slipped, they put me a bandwagon and
Study hit the face.I [blah] goparly rushed down 9,000,000 steps and chuuuuutu
I did not break my neck, but I broke my legs, arms, fingers, ribs, jaw and ears.But it was
One comfort, when I was below the elevator was here.I got up shook off and entered the elevator.I
He went upstairs, found a dude from the photo, took a bucket of water and doused him.Jumping and windows
100,000 floors I landed straight next to the employer.Said that the order was executed and went
For milk.When the person came all raw, she screamed something for a long time, after me in Spanish
(probably), but then she shouted: “You are with [] ka. ", I turned around and put it in it in line from
Minigan about 9999999999999999999 bullets, plus minus 100,000 rounds.
IMHO did not find intermediate craps here:
Complete crap 15
As usual, I was sitting on the table, hanging my legs on a chair when a phone call was heard. I picked up the phone, I heard a voice.
– Here we have found a corpse with dude, like maybe you’ll come to see. This is by the way the police?
– This is not a damn firefight, but I will come to see anyway.
– Okay, we are waiting and buy beer!
Well, I got together, put on socks and went. On the way I went into the stall and bought alcohol (not enough for beer). When about 20 minutes passed, I remembered that he did not ask where to go. From the grief he took out his stitch from the toe in the form of 5 liters of alcohol, and pissed, immediately with some kind of drunken feeling he felt where to go and went. I rushed to the cemetery, yes, it was there that they called me, very drunk. I went to the meeting some corpse with the inscription on the Fudbolka “Zombie Vitya”. Vitya looked at me not very friendly, but very hungry. The saliva flowed abundantly from his upper jaw and when it became a lot in his mouth, the lower jaw could not withstand such a mockery and fell off. I did not wait for the moment when they chewed me and hastily retired. I was “deleted” very quickly and very long, imagine my surprise when when “removing” I met my nose to the nose with Vasya, or rather my nose to the place where Vasya had a nose four hundred years ago. Vasya was also dead about 500 years old and all 1000 is hungry. Therefore, I quickly scored a canister from alcohol into his stomach and ran to the saving door with the inscription "Administration".
– Zdarovo! Where is the beer?
– There was no alcohol for beer – I put the bottle on the table. – Where is the corpse?
– And there on the street right to the right of the black exit.
I went out and saw the tombstone on which I can see the inscription "I need to live to live.“And then two dates 0000 – born, 2006 – cigarettes ended. And a dug corpse nearby. I returned back.
– He died a long time ago!
– Well, yes, and we decided to give him a cigarette that he would come to life!
– And what?
– came to life! But we had only one cigarette, he documented and died. We called you.
– For what? They would bury back!
– Yeah, and who would bring us alcohol?
With these words, the administrator with a deft movement of his hand sent the kinetchek power of his limb to my temple through an empty bottle of alcohol and I disconnected.
Awful, I felt my brain.My brain sent impulses to my muscles, and they contracted, setting my legs in motion. In short, I walked. I went to Einstein, to a close friend of Einstein. But Enshtein died, because he thought that the future was for evolution, and Instein survived because he knew that the future was for idiocy. I went to him with a very exciting question for me, what are the brothers Grimm in the song eyelashes? Fucking sleep, I myself did not know.
– What kind of homosapiens dragged me to me ?!
– Yes, this is me, your old friend, Prings!
– And this is you, vile parasitic! Well come in!
– Tell me, Instein, what for to transmit the kinetic power of my temple?
– relative to you or bottles?
– And there is a rane?
– No.
– ..
– The fault is idiocy!
Pacemuto I knew that he would say it.